Imagine
you’re a teenager again. For some of us it might not be that long ago. For
others it may seem like ages ago (even though I’m sure it was closer to the
present than you think). Can you remember doing anything that you would now
consider stupid or silly? I remember way back when (about three years ago, I'm not actually that old) there
was a gated and abandoned rehab community known as Seaview Hospital. As a teen, there
was a sense of empowerment in the ability to slip past the hole in the gate and
trudge around this “haunted” community. Looking back, I now think of it as
childish and pointless. I mean, I went during the daytime, where no police
could see me, with a big group of friends so no other wandering groups would hurt
us. It was literally the safest form of rebellion I could have achieved.
I’m sure everyone has one of those
stories from their teenage years. You know, those rebellious years, when you would stay
out past your curfew just to see how far you could push it. Perhaps the
character that embodies this personality the most in any show I've ever seen is
Jesse Pinkman. Jesse’s a special kind of character, and probably my favorite
character of the show Breaking Bad. He has the type of personality where you never quite know
why he does what he does; you just understand that it’s something he would
do. The show delves into so many
opportunities Jesse has to turn his life around, yet he barely takes any of
them. As a viewer, you completely understand that he does these seemingly childish things. It just doesn't seem far-fetched when it should; it seems to fit perfectly with his character. You just don’t know why you understand it. It's hard to explain until you dig deep into the show, which is what makes Jesse Pinkman such an interesting character.
This might seem like an abstract
idea, but allow me to attempt to unravel this medical case of a
teenager-who-never-grew-up. We first meet Jesse in the show climbing out of a
window of what Walter describes as poor excuse for a Meth-lab. What exactly got Jesse into this predicament? All we know is that Walter was Jesse’s Chemistry
teacher in high school and that Jesse was a bad student. Why was he a bad
student? What led him to an addiction to Meth-Amphetamine? What led him to cook
Meth?
An interesting trait about Jesse,
which seems to answer these questions, is that Jesse seems to fail at or mess
up everything he does. When cooking in an RV, he leaves the keys in the
ignition. Thus, he kills the battery, leaving him and Walter stranded in the desert.
When in high school, he fails Chemistry. When his parents try to help him
rehabilitate, he covers for his little brother’s drug use and gets kicked out
of their house for good. No matter where he goes, he can never seem to do
right. Of course, like any other teenager would assume, it's not really his fault in his own eyes. Bad things happen to him so often that he just learns to shrug it off and chalk it up to "the world's out to get me". He just has the attitude and heir of a punk.
I personally assume that Jesse was
just always that “trouble-maker”. I think he’s the kind of person whose
ambitions lie in working with his hands. He’s a creationist, and books mean
nothing to a man who creates. To propel this theory, at one point in his rehabilitation, Jesse states
that the one thing he was really good at was a project in wood shop class. A project he tried so many times to get right, and wouldn’t stop until it was
perfect. This would answer why he is good at cooking Meth, and enjoys doing so.
I believe that these underlying ideas, in a
way, push him to continue to cook Meth with Walter after many endeavors in a
nefarious style. In the beginning, it seems like Walter and Jesse mentor each
other. Walter teaches him how to cook pure Meth, and Jesse teaches him the
street life. At this time both continue to maintain their respective personalities.
However, after making so much money and learning how to cook meth so well, Jesse’s
finally found a place where he’s good at something. While Jesse is cooking with
Walter, it is the only time we see them not fighting. Then, after personality changes, it’s the only
times they actually get along as equals- without Walter’s bossy, Heisenberg-like attitude getting in the way. It’s also during these periods that he actually lives an appropriate
lifestyle - that is, aside from the whole cooking Meth part. These are the times when Jesse
goes to rehab. He also finds love and lives in a
hospitable house. Literally the best moments of his life occur when he is
cooking Meth. It calms him, and keeps his sporadic tendencies at bay. He doesn't need to lash out at the world because he's not failing at anything That’s why I think Walter and Jesse have such a close connection throughout
the show, but that’s an analysis for another blog post.
Although throughout most of the
series, this is the personality Jesse embodies, he eventually wants to break free of the
addiction Meth has on him, both in a cooking and smoking sense. As I said before, Jesse acts like a punk. However, there are several
points in time where we can actually see him taking his baby-steps into adult
hood. Strangely, these times only happen after someone close to him or someone
innocent has been killed.
During these few moments of sorrow,
we see Jesse’s true nature of innocence. It's blocked by and emotional barrier built with extreme fortitude
against the world’s unfortunate tendency to throw bad luck in his direction. He
wants to lash back at the world that has lashed out at him. However, when an emotional-nuclear bomb, such
as his first love interest dying, is cast upon this wall, he has no option but
to reveal his true self. The first time its shown is when he
goes to rehab after his love-interest over-doses; when he cleans up his house
and stops using again because his new love-interest’s sibling gets killed; when
he wants to quit cooking Meth after an innocent child who witnessed a robbery
gets shot before Jesse can save him; when he rats out Walter to Hank, the DEA
agent, because he discovered Walter poisoned his love-interests son. Each time
the blow is less and less severe, yet it affects him more and more because he
never has enough time to rebuild his wall.
This theme of death in Jesse’s life
seems to cause him to grow. It’s not until the murder of his second love-interest
that we see a complete transformation. We see a shell of a rebellious man. One, who clearly just wants
to live a normal life, chained and forced to cook Meth. He has finally left
behind his barriers and accepted life. Whenever there's an enlightening change in Jesse's life, he has his girls to thank. If they had such a great impact on him, I wish that I had Jesse's girls. Why can't I find some women like that? (I'm weak, I couldn't pass that one up).